I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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