Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Randomize
