Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
two words: eviction party
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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