My brain says no but my pants say off.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
foreskin is a definite game changer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
