It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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