next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
