My liver just broke up with me...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize