ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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