I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
