she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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