how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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