it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
