Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
smell my finger.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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