if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do vagina's smell?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Found your dick twin last night
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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