I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
