ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
