you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
