In the future we'll all be gay
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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