A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
