I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
