So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
