i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
