Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
