Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
