Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I deserve this hangover.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
