he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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