So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
