You can't motorboat a personality
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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