I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
