yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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