The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
