Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He passed out mid-signature
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
