Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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