i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
