.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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