so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
