yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize