I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
