guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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