I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
