i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
