so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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