God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
