You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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