They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?