I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.