he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.