My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
