Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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