mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
