So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if only i could text you this smell
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
