I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina