I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha