we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!