I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.