Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
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You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
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i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!