she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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