he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
