I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
