We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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