What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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