yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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