he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
