I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
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yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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