Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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