Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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