I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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