Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize